This summer, I went on a family vacation to Montana. I saw mountains, glaciers, bears (yes plural) and many pretty landscapes. However, I’ve found that this picture of our hike around the bend to Grinnell Glacier has the most meaning to me now. As I sit a few weeks into senior year, everyday it hits harder that in a few short months, who knows what I’ll be doing. My future is one huge ?– it is the curve of the trail around the bend.
I didn’t know what was around the corner or what was at the end of the trail. I’d get glimpses. I knew that there was a glacier and that it was supposed to be beautiful. Same as I know I have the means and ability to find a job, and it will hopefully be something I love. The glacier wasn’t the end of the trail, though. We relaxed by the edge of the water, by the beautiful ice, and took our photos. Then there was the hike down.
You’d think that was easier, but it wasn’t always. There were flat parts, and hills, and steep declines. There were beautiful viewpoints into other valleys. Each step was another challenge or happiness or doubt I’ll face during that first out-of-college job, and the ones beyond. There is great strength needed to hike up to the glacier, but I always find that the hike back can be harder. That’s where the ones with bursts of energy and those with a steady pace separate themselves.
But on the other side of the trail there’s a cliff–a steep way down with little hope of recovery. This is my greatest fear. Of falling. Of my grades not being enough, of no one wanting to hire me, of not having the right kind of experience or knowledge. There is no guarantee that at the end of four years, I’ve spent my time in the right classes, learning the right subjects and joining the right clubs. But if I had spent my hike looking down and double checking every step, I’d never have seen the beauty around me.
I don’t think I’m alone in these fears. I don’t write to say I have the most unique concerns and fears in the world. I write to connect with others, to say they’re not alone. My fears are the same as every other senior in college across the country, across the world, and soon we’ll all be competing for the few spots at top firms, businesses and opportunities that we want so badly.
All I can say is, I hope I’m never too busy checking my every step to see the beauty around me.