I made a lot of promises to myself this year, and I haven’t been good at keeping them. So, I want to apologize to myself:
I’m sorry, that I haven’t written more for myself on this blog. I let the excuses of schoolwork, and certification tests and travel get in the way of my own creativity.
I’m sorry, that I haven’t been sticking to my exercise goals. But, I’m more sorry that I have been feeling bad about myself because I haven’t had time to run. I shouldn’t connect feeling good about myself to the amount I can run in a week.
I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping to my budgeting plans as best as I could be. I could skip some dinners or trips to get ice cream, in the name of future financial security.
I’m sorry I don’t stick to study plans for the day, even when I know that it would only benefit me to do so. Sometimes, YouTube or breaks with friends seem better than reading for hours on end.
I’m sorry, that I have let my phone keep me in bed for hours in the morning to escape from my responsibilities for the day. More specifically, I have let social media and games keep me from being my best self each and every day.
I’m sorry that I haven’t been spending time for myself. I haven’t strengthened my sense of self worth, or taken care of my mental health in the past stressful month. (Binging TV shows doesn’t count)
I am sorry for a few bad habits over the last few weeks, I’m also not sorry about a few things:
I’m not sorry that I haven’t made myself exercise for any other reason than because I want to. I haven’t gone to the gym to please anyone but myself, rather than for external pressures I may feel from others.
I’m not sorry that I have, at times, picked new experiences rather than sticking to my schedules and timelines. I have grown more from stress of trying to do everything at once, rather than sticking to just my school work.
I’m not sorry that I’ve been spending time by myself when I need it, because sometimes the outside world is too much to handle, and I just need to lock myself away for a while.
I’m not sorry that I’ve made myself a priority; I live for no one else and no other purpose. Every decision I have made, mostly, has been because I think it is what is best for me. I’m not trying to please every single person I cross paths with, and it’s such a relief.